TEXTS FROM A FAMILY MEMBER

has a girl ever asked u to stop staring at her vagina like cuz you actually were?

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Kid I’m at mohegan sun and I lost 10 bux. W/e I’ll just pretend I gave it to an Indian charity. That’s all I’m betting tonight.

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So I asked my girlfriend if she’d be weirded out if we were just friends and I slept over her house one night…and she woke up in the night to find me standing over her with a magnifying glass

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so one of my colleagues said he was arranging the clearance dress shirts by color. So I asked him if he was ordering them by wavelength…we shared a laugh, actually I don’t think he got it

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How much do u hate when a kid will take advantage of his college campus by reading on the grass.

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Have u ever been hookin up with a girl and then went for her drawers?…you know, went for her drawers…Pants/undergarments

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thought of a really lame status “Out to the bar! It’s gonna be a late night haha yaaaaaa!

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Dude Lina hates the Juvenile Ha video…Idk why, I tried to tell her it’s amazing. And she hates Petey Pablo Raise up! Actually she doesn’t hate it she’s just like ehhh

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Me- “did you win at the casion”

“yeah I lost 84.85”

me- “84.85?”

“yeah I actually lost 85 but then I found a 15 cent voucher”

is it weird that my reading retention is better when im drunk?

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you should buy a rolls royce if u make a lot of money cuz dey made by hand

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do u think its appropriate to ask a whore to wash her vagina if it smells when she arrives?

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Dude next year my earnings will put me below the poverty line which means I won’t pay taxes!

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yo man at pizza hut its any pizza any size any toppings for just 10 bux

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I feel like clearing 2 steps at a time is sooo 90s

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