has a girl ever asked u to stop staring at her vagina like cuz you actually were?
Kid I’m at mohegan sun and I lost 10 bux. W/e I’ll just pretend I gave it to an Indian charity. That’s all I’m betting tonight.
So I asked my girlfriend if she’d be weirded out if we were just friends and I slept over her house one night…and she woke up in the night to find me standing over her with a magnifying glass
so one of my colleagues said he was arranging the clearance dress shirts by color. So I asked him if he was ordering them by wavelength…we shared a laugh, actually I don’t think he got it
How much do u hate when a kid will take advantage of his college campus by reading on the grass.
Have u ever been hookin up with a girl and then went for her drawers?…you know, went for her drawers…Pants/undergarments
thought of a really lame status “Out to the bar! It’s gonna be a late night haha yaaaaaa!
Dude Lina hates the Juvenile Ha video…Idk why, I tried to tell her it’s amazing. And she hates Petey Pablo Raise up! Actually she doesn’t hate it she’s just like ehhh
Me- “did you win at the casion”
“yeah I lost 84.85”
“yeah I actually lost 85 but then I found a 15 cent voucher”
is it weird that my reading retention is better when im drunk?
you should buy a rolls royce if u make a lot of money cuz dey made by hand
do u think its appropriate to ask a whore to wash her vagina if it smells when she arrives?
Dude next year my earnings will put me below the poverty line which means I won’t pay taxes!
yo man at pizza hut its any pizza any size any toppings for just 10 bux
I feel like clearing 2 steps at a time is sooo 90s